Holy cow I hate diets. I've been on one for like 3 weeks and I just can't take it anymore.
For those of you who don't know me, I LOVE food. Kind of obsessed really. Luckily I'm young and have a really fast metabolism, so I'm still in good shape, despite eating like 4,000 calories a day. (That's about twice what a normal person should eat.) Taco Bell, burgers, pizza, fried chicken, I'm all over it.
But about a month ago, my wife went on some crazy Oprah diet. Because I'm such a great guy, I thought: Hey, I'm not going to be a jerk and eat all this great food in front of her, while she's eating cardboard and leaves. That and she was getting mad at me. And an angry, hungry wife is not good to be around. So I joined the diet. That or be in the doghouse until 2012.
So at first I thought, hey, this won't be that bad, I'll just work on my six-pack and get really cut and buff looking. It'll be cool.
It's not cool. All I think about is food. I'm starving. I would kill someone for a burger. This is awful. I am never going on a diet again after I get off this.
I seriously need some help. Does anyone have tips on making it through a diet?
It is truly a tragic event.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
I hate weather.
I hate all weather. I first realized this when I started thinking how much I hate winter. I mean, this snow is just ridiculous. I'm sick of it. It's cold, and hard to drive. And if you drive a dark colored car, it'll look awful from all the salt and snow and whatever. I can't wait for spring.
But then I realized I hate spring too. Everything is melted. It is super wet and muddy everywhere. Death to shoes. I hate it. For someone who plays a lot of basketball, you don't want to tromp through a swamp in Air Jordans. And like winter, your car will look like crap. I don't like spring.
Then there's summer, which is probably the best of the 4 seasons, but still has it's downsides. Like 95 degree weather. When I'm not working here at WBTI, I do a lot of manual labor (gotta pay those bills somehow). It gets HOT. Not fun. Plus I sweat a lot. I will soak a shirt in like an hour. It's pretty gross. It can be hard to cool down to. You can always add another sweater or blanket to stay warm, but you can only take off so many clothes.
And then there's Fall. I actually like fall, except for one thing: leaves. Oh my god I hate leaves. There everywhere. I hate raking. They get in the house and get ground up. And I hate raking. They suck.
But when it comes right down to it, I think we can all agree that winter is by far the worst. Bring on the mud.
But then I realized I hate spring too. Everything is melted. It is super wet and muddy everywhere. Death to shoes. I hate it. For someone who plays a lot of basketball, you don't want to tromp through a swamp in Air Jordans. And like winter, your car will look like crap. I don't like spring.
Then there's summer, which is probably the best of the 4 seasons, but still has it's downsides. Like 95 degree weather. When I'm not working here at WBTI, I do a lot of manual labor (gotta pay those bills somehow). It gets HOT. Not fun. Plus I sweat a lot. I will soak a shirt in like an hour. It's pretty gross. It can be hard to cool down to. You can always add another sweater or blanket to stay warm, but you can only take off so many clothes.
And then there's Fall. I actually like fall, except for one thing: leaves. Oh my god I hate leaves. There everywhere. I hate raking. They get in the house and get ground up. And I hate raking. They suck.
But when it comes right down to it, I think we can all agree that winter is by far the worst. Bring on the mud.
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